Another Erasure lyric as a title – It’s getting to be a thing for my blog posts. Anyway, this one is actually quite apt.

So, I had a brilliant week from a week ago last Saturday till about Thursday. On Saturday I met up with Danni and then went to see WillowC, Ghosty, Willis and Laura and spent a night exxentially chillaxing with them. On the Sunday me and Danni went to Forbidden Planet, where I picked up a couple of posters, then headed back to Danni’s flat, where we spent the next 4 or 5 days generally enjoying each others’ company. We played World of Warcraft, cuddled, snuggled and generally had an awesome time. But then I had to go home. And that’s where the trouble starts. You see, the most wonderful thing about being human (the ability to fall in love) can also be the worst thing (missing the one you love). So here I am, missing Danni. If it weren’t for my woeful inability to cry in situations where anybody else would I’d be requiring a limitless supply of tissues right now, but perhaps that’s for the best. Saves money and all that, which ties in with the rest of the worries I have at the moment.

Uni’s finished until September. Well, it’s meant to have done. I suspect I’ve failed the year. Yes, I’ve failed a foundation year. How useless is that? It doesn’t help that the exam for maths was on the day after coming back from Danni’s, but I knew all the stuff on the course. Yeah, right. Day of the exam, brain decides to remember *nothing*. Bloody thing. So I’m left with a guaranteed fail. I know this because I only did about 25% of the paper and the pass mark is 40%. I can do maths well enough to work out that means I’ve not passed under any circumstances. It’s left me with a few options, each with issues or drawbacks:

1. Resit the exam. For this I need to be in Hull on the day of the exam (in August) AND be able to pass it. If my brain has another day like Friday there’s no chance of that.
2. Resit the year. I would need to get into even more debt to do this, really want to avoid it.
3. Compensate. If I can do this then i will. Will mean I can’t do a free elective and will need to do Quantitive Methods. Of course, this is not guaranteed.
4. Pull out altogether. This would leave me with nothing, essentially. A year wasted and several thousand pounds of debt gained.

Even if I choose to continue at Hull, I have issues. For a start, money is drying up. No money, no roof over head. Parents get chased up for rent. Yeah, you get the picture.Luckily, I have enough to cover the rent for the contract I’m in at the moment, but not for the one I’ve got due to start in August. That leads on to my second major problem…

Which is housing. I have no idea what to do about this. My brain is telling me one thing ad my heart another.I realise that if I leave Hull I’ll be stuck looking for a job again, but if I stay I’ll have to arse around finding a place to live, since it’s looking like the house I signed for with friends won’t have said friends there to move in with. Housing is completely uncertain for me at the moment.

So here I am, no money, lack of knowledge about where I’m going to be living after the summer and unsure as to whether I’ll actually be at Uni after the debacle that was the maths exam. Somebody give me strength.